Derek DeNote
With the 2012-2013 college basketball season
coming to a close, I thought I should write about all the guys that have stolen
my heart (yes, you read that correctly). Presenting my all man-crush team….
Surprisingly, I’d go guard-heavy. My four guards
would be…
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| If you can name a white person with a better first name than "Rotnei," I'll do a backflip. |
Rotnei Clarke: The silky smooth stroke of Clarke
combined with his unlimited range can only make you think of Kyle McAlarney.
Both were shooting guards forced to run the system at the point because their
team lacked a sufficient point guard. Luckily, for Clarke he’ll be playing off
the ball in my unorthodox system, coming off more off ball double screens than
you thought humanly possible.
Nik Stauskas: The Canadian can flat out play.
His athleticism is lost in his ability to have one of the wettest jumpers in
the game. (He also doesn’t care much using extra letters, seeing he dropped the
“c” from Nick, but I guess that could be why Zach Hensinger doesn’t think
Canadians are the brightest of the bunch. Stauskas can hit 3’s and… wait for it… dunk. The
kid has countless highlights of driving to the lane and throwing it down big
fella. I’d mainly like to space the floor nicely with him, with him on the left
wing with a screen foul line extended and let the defense pick their poison…if
they go under, splish splash that’s a trey ball baby…if they switch or mirror
him, watch him expose the bigger defender…and if they hedge, watch him exploit
the defense with his vision.
Rasheed SULAIMON: Yes, he’s fallen off a bit and
lost his starting role to Tyler Thorton (which I’m not too upset about because
Thorton was prematurely thrown into the dog house after Quinn Cook played out
of his mind in The Battle for Atlantis [which was, by the way, possibly the
greatest regular season tournament ever played]). Now, this is where Coach K
and I differ. Coach K has SULAIMON playing without the ball in his hands (off
the ball), but I think he’s at his best with the ball in his hands. He has
great vision and in case you missed him play in the first game against North
Carolina, those celebrated guards couldn’t stay in front of him. The kid is
flat out explosive. Also, the thing I absolutely love about this kid is the
fact that even as a freshmen he forgets about a bad play and just focuses on
the next play (I know this is easy to say, but watch the kid play and you’ll
see this too). He was held scoreless in the first half against tOSU…what did he
do in the second half? Go off for 17. SULAIMON has the ability to take over
games and that’s why he makes my man crush team…also to provide a little
athleticism to my starting five.
Momo Jones: He’ll be my 6th man for
his explosiveness. He’s averaging over 22 points a game and is fearless enough
to chuck it up from just about anywhere. This team would be an announcers dream
because they could use the cliché, “he pulled up from [a town they aren’t
currently playing in] with that last shot!” Momo, who plays for Iona after
having transferred from Arizona, adds athleticism, spark, attitude, and sheer
scoring ability to my guard play. I completely adopt the idea that your 6th
man should be able to get his own shot…think James Harden as the 6th
man for the Thunder last year.
I’m pretty sure you can see where I am going
with my bigs, but here they are:
Kelly Olynyk: He’s making the team strictly for
style purposes. His high white socks, with the flow of a god that is held back
by a string headband…is perfect.
I love the style, Kelly, and I understand that you’re trying to recapture the
90’s just like me, but my sister suggests you read Bobbie Thomas’s The
Power of Style: Everything You Need to Know Before You Get Dressed Tomorrow.
(Sidebar: For all of you struggling with style out there, you can also pick up
the book on April 23rd or preorder it today.) I’ll have her send you
an early addition copy free of charge. But, back to your basketball
ability…it’s not too shabby. You have nice range and aren’t afraid to get some
boards. Also, I absolutely love the fact you redshirted in the middle of your
tenure at Gonzaga for no apparent reason other than to get better.
P.S. I really suspect Olynyk has a Rick
Flair-esque suit that he sports on the reg to Gonzaga parties.
Mitch McGary: If you’ve ever heard an announcer
say, “Wow! He’s an energy guy,” and thought to yourself, “Wow! This announcer
is a douche guy,” you were probably right unless he was talking about Mitch
McGary. McGary is so active on defense that it almost makes me tired watching
him. It’s like he came into Michigan with a chip on his shoulder…I wonder what
that could’ve been from. Possibly ESPN dropping him out of the number 3 spot
and stripping away one of his stars, making him a 4 star by the time he
graduated. Hey ESPN, I talked to Mitch last weekend and he says thanks for
motivation and that making my man crush team is a lot more valuable than being
a 5 star. Mitch will mostly be used for his basketball IQ, rebounding, and
passing ability.
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| When you search "Doug McDermott" in Google Images, this picture of Rick Majerus appears on the first page for some reason. The things you learn maintaining a blog... |
Doug McDermott: Yes, he can rebound, he can
shoot, and he has great footwork in paint. He’s very fundamentally sound, which
is extremely important for my bigs. I like my players to be able to score from
wherever on the court (including just inside half court) and boy can McDermott.
Talk about another silky smooth stroke. For all you South Jersey readers out
there that for whatever reason haven’t been able to see McDermott play but
watched a lot of the State Champion Camden Catholic 2009-2010 team, think Gerry
Wixted. Their games are unbelievably similar. And just to clarify, the only
person that I believe that falls into the group of people who haven’t seen
McDermott but watched a lot of the 2009-2010 Irish squad is Basketball Steve. He
didn’t miss a game that year and I also believe he exclusively watches Camden
Catholic basketball. If you don’t know Basketball Steve, you’re missing out. He’s
a real treat.
I almost forgot, my team is coached by the brilliant
Brad Stevens, so yeah. You know we will be successful because if “Wonder Boy
Brad” (his new nickname) can do it with a bunch of Midwesterners, imagine what
he would do with this squad.
This team is filled with silky smooth shooters
that can hit from anywhere and scorers, so make your jokes now. “Are you gonna
play any defense?” “No. As Mark Titus has stated, the objective of basketball is
to put the ball into the hoop and that’s exactly what we’ll do…most of the time
for 3.” “How many balls are you gonna play with?” “One, dumbass. The game of
basketball is played with one.” “Don’t you think having a team compiled of
strictly 3 point shooters will hurt come tourney time?” “In reality, most
likely, but in my fantasy world no way in hell, it’s called playing the odds.
There is no plausible way all of these guys have an off night on the same
night.” So there’s the Man Crush Team of 2012-2013 and they’ll beat anyone you
throw at them, so don’t even think you can compile a better team.
Extras (This piece is entirely too long, so if
anyone makes it this far, you might as well keep reading…)! My media coverage
would be exclusively:
Jon Rothstein of CBS Sports, who finally gave me
the shout
out on Twitter on March 10, 2013 (the greatest day of my life). He will
have all access to the team and essentially be the exclusive reporter on them
besides…
Mark Titus of
Grantland, who I suspect would write wittier pieces and constantly rave
about how he’s never seen a team filled with so many wet jumpers. Needless to
say, we’d be atop his power rankings every week and run away with not only his
heart, but also the National Championship.
Wow are you going to talk Philly pro sports????
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